In the past few months, my foundation has been rocked to its core. I’ve had quite a few curve balls thrown my way and external stressors have been at an all-time high. It’s been challenging, to say the least.
There have been days where I feel like I’ve barely been able to keep my head above water.
There have been days where I feel like I just keep hitting brick wall after brick wall.
There have been days where I have been shaking my fist at the Universe asking “WHYYYY IS THIS HAPPENING?????”
There have been days when I have wanted to just completely give up, crawl into a hole, and never come back out.
In fact, a few weeks ago, it all came to a head and I looked at Jose (my partner) and I said to him, “I just don’t know how much more I can take, I’m just so f*cking tired. I want to give up.”
He looked at me and said, “But do you? Do you actually want to quit and give up?”
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and said “No I don’t. And even if I truly wanted to, I don’t think I could. But I can’t go on like this. Somethins gotta give.”
So I gave myself a very loving, but eye opening, bitch slap.
And it was in that moment that I realized just how much I had somehow shifted into a victim mentality because of everything that had been happening these past few months.
I saw so clearly how much of my power I had been giving away because I had resigned myself to this thought that life was just happening TO ME instead FOR ME.
I realized that every single thing that has happened in these past few months, while it has been difficult, has also been chock full of lessons and growth. And even though I’ve had moments of incredible frustration and defeat, I’ve also really kept my cool and navigated through these hardships with so much resilience. I’ve been pulling from every tool I have in my toolbox to keep myself grounded amidst the storm. And while I don’t love some of the places of mental defeat my mind went to, I also sat back and gave myself a lot of compassion and grace for the melt down moments that I had along the way. Because DAMN, this human life isn’t exactly easy. And sometimes, we just need a good old-fashioned meltdown.
But the most important remembrance that I came back home to in that moment was this;
I AM the CREATOR of every single aspect of my life. I AM ALWAYS in the driver’s seat, whether I like it or not.
The Universe doesn’t judge, punish, or reward. The Universe is simply just RESPONDING to the orders that we are placing (for better or worse).
The moment that we realize that nothing in life is happening TO US and that we are the conscious creators of our entire existence, THIS is the moment when we step back into our power.
Because instead of shaking our firsts at the Universe and focusing on how angry or frustrated we are that something isn’t going right, we can start to ask ourselves the questions that allow us to take back our power.
What are the limiting beliefs that have led me here?
Why has my soul created this situation for me to experience? What is the lesson in all of this?
What is hiding in my subconscious mind that may have me self-sabotaging?
And most importantly, if I don’t like the reality that I’m currently experiencing, what steps am I going to take to change it?
If life is a movie, and I am the main character, what is going to happen next in my story?
And since I am the writer and director of this movie, I get to choose. Do I need to write in a plot twist? Maybe some of the characters in the movie need to go?
I’ll be the first to admit that in these past few months, there have been times when I have forgotten who I truly am and what I am capable of. As result of that, I ended up feeling so defeated, frustrated, and exhausted. Trust me when I say none of that felt good.
But the moment I (lovingly) bitch slapped myself and said “WOMAN! REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!!!! REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE THE CREATOR!!!!”- I felt this surge of power shoot throughout my entire body. I felt so electrified with purpose and passion again. The switch had been flipped and I felt my POWER come back online in a whole new way.
And DAMN, does it feel good!
I’m sharing this today because maybe you need a loving little bitch slap just like I did in order to remember who the f*ck you truly are and what are you truly capable of.
We are POWERFUL CREATORS. End of story.
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