"Within every woman there is a wild and natural creature, a powerful force, with instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing. Her name is Wild Woman, but she is an endangered species." - Clarissa Pinkola Estes
I came upon this quote last night and I was reminded of why I started "Awaken the Wild" and the first time I met my inner wild woman. So today, I'm going to share a little bit of my story with you.
I had been on a personal healing journey for quite some time; a journey of healing trauma, a journey of releasing shame, a journey of finding freedom within myself, a journey of trying to figure out who I was, and what it meant for me to truly be living a life of unbridled joy. I was so tired of feeling like I had to fit into a "box". I was tired of trying to please everyone else at the cost of my own happiness. I was tired of making myself small and dimming my light for the sake of others. I was tired of living my life on everyone else's terms. I felt like I was living my life in a cage and what I craved more than anything else was FREEDOM. And when I say freedom, I don't mean a surface level. The kind of freedom I was craving was on a soul level. I wanted freedom to truly live in my authentic truth, all the time. I wanted freedom to be able to express myself and be myself without a constant fear of what people would think about me. I wanted freedom to relentlessly pursue my joy.
At this time in my life I was married, working a crazy stressful corporate job, and I felt like the joy in my life was shrinking with every day that went by. I just couldn't get rid of these feelings and thoughts that there had to be more to life, more to me. I knew there were parts of me that I had not even begun to tap into, an inner "wild woman" who was waiting to be set free. Though at the time, I didn't know how to name these thoughts or feelings. When I look back on this time in my life it so clear for me to see how disconnected I was from my intuition and my Feminine Energy. I was making decisions to please everyone else, even when my intuition was saying otherwise. I stayed in a marriage longer than I should have because I was ignoring my intuition. I was killing myself at work and constantly stressed out because I was disconnected from my Feminine Energy. I was living in a cage because I wasn't allowing my inner 'wild woman' to be set free.
I think society has painted a picture of a wild woman as being a woman who is "out of control", loud, or attention-seeking. But my definition of a "wild woman" is a woman who is deeply connected to her sense of knowing, her intuition, and her instincts. When you think about a jaguar in the jungle, what does she do? She allows her instincts to be her guide. She doesn't question herself. She moves through the jungle with confidence, fully knowing how powerful she is. A 'wild woman' is a woman who follows her passion and allows herself to be led from her heart. A 'wild woman' is a woman who trusts in her own wisdom above all else.
My story continues...
My quest ended up taking to the jungles of Costa Rica, where I had my first experience drinking Ayahuasca. And while my experience with Ayahuasca was incredibly profound, looking back on it now, what really impacted me the most was witnessing and learning from the female Shamanas (a female Shaman). These women radiated life force energy, yet they also exuded peace in a way that I had never seen. They were wise and they were deeply connected to their bodies. I'd never been in the presence of women who were so comfortable in who they were, comfortable with their bodies. They were the living embodiment of the "wild woman". I truly felt like I was in the presence of living wisdom. They spoke of the traditions and rituals that had been passed down from their ancestors that connected them to the earth, the spiritual world, and their bodies. They taught us that we have deep and ancient wisdom living inside of our bodies that is always with us, just waiting to be heard. They taught us how to begin connecting to our intuition and to trust that we have all the answers we will ever need living inside of us. Listening to them and watching them awakened something within me, something I had never felt before. It was as if a deep remembrance was happening within me; a remembrance of who I was always meant to be. A woman who was meant to be living in her passion, who is in love with her body, who is free, who trusts in herself, and who listens to her own wisdom. A woman who is so deeply connected to her power that nothing could shake her. The Wild Woman within me was finally starting to AWAKEN.
On the last night of my time in Cosa Rica, we spent the evening dancing under the moon and I had truly never felt so free in my entire life. After spending a week in the jungle, drinking this powerful and ancient plant medicine, being surrounded by nature, and being in the presence of these women, I remembered thinking to myself "How on earth can I go back to my life after just experiencing one of the more transformative and healing weeks of my life?" I had this feeling of dread that I was going back to the cage. But I made a promise to myself that even though I was going back to a busy, modern-day world, I would continue to awaken this wild woman within me and set her free.
Over the course of the next few years, I kept my promise to myself. I ended my marriage and I went deeper and deeper on my journey of reconnecting back to myself and my intuition. All the while maintaining a very busy and stressful corporate job. However, on the side, I started my own coaching business helping women tap into their true power, heal their trauma, awaken their inner wild, and live a life of joy. I eventually ended up walking away from my career in order to fully dedicate myself to "Awaken the Wild". I truly do believe that "within every woman, there is a wild and natural creature, a powerful force, with instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing". My deepest desire is that every woman can awaken her inner wild, whatever that looks like or means for her.
Have you felt the stir of the wild woman within you? Can you feel the powerful force, the wisdom, and the passion living inside of you? Maybe your inner wild woman is gently nudging you right now, just like she had been nudging me.
Commenti